Write What You Know—Journaling for Self-Care

Likely, you have noticed how much talk there is around the topics of self-care and mindfulness.  I hear these terms used to describe all kinds of activities—everything from getting your hair done to attending a meditation retreat seems to fall into the categories of personal rejuvenation.  In fact, I noticed on a listing of professional development workshops offered locally, the one on mindfulness filled up the fastest. 

Today, people share similar struggles no matter their profession, income bracket, or background.  We are stressed-out, overworked, drained, and exhausted.  Our love of life has waned to a point where we are grasping desperately onto a return to basics to take care of ourselves.  Beneath the layers of fatigue, indifference, and failed goals, so many of us just need to recharge our batteries. 

In a fast paced world, many of us have turned to journaling as a means for self-care and mindfulness.  The research shows us that conscientious journaling can relieve stress and increase happiness.  Getting a journaling practice may take a little bit of time and effort, but just like exercise or meditation, the positive effect comes from giving it a fair try.  

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Write What You Know 
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Anyone who has taken a writing class has heard this phrase, “Write what you know.”  What instructors mean when they say this is that writers can tap into a both depth and breadth of content when they write under the topics and subjects that are most familiar to them.  So, what is you know that you could write?

If you are a parent who finds children to be hilarious, disastrous little bundles of madness then you likely have amazing experiences to journal.  Write up how frightened you were the day your toddler son was sitting on your newborn daughter.  Write about the time that your mother-in-law visited a week after the baby was born and expected to be served a full luncheon.  Then there was the time the kids had a balloon fight in the living room and actually choked from laughing so hard.  Or remember the time your daughter broke into the makeup and decorated herself to look just like the Joker from Batman? 

So, what if you are not a parent.  Write about the heroic tales of starting your own business (or finishing your degree, writing your book, or volunteering, or whatever your accomplishments are).  I wish that I had kept a journal of how much I struggled in college.  I worked a full time job, paid all of my own expenses, and attended school full time, and somehow in that madness I still graduated with decent grades.  Write down those stories.  Make a list of advice to share with others.  Create a series of suggestions or articles in your journal about how your dedication worked to your advantage in meeting your goals.

If you think about journaling as a means for capturing the events of your day, you can miss out on the opportunities that journaling can inspire.  Do not let yourself get stuck in the idea that journaling has to look or feel a certain way.  It does not need to conform to someone else’s ideas of how it should look.  
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How to Ruin Journaling 
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Now, there are some considerations that we need to look at when journaling, because there are a couple of ways to journal in the wrong way.  Of course, no one wants to turn a self-care activity into a stressful activity, so keep these suggestions in mind when journaling. 

First of all, like any self-care activity, journaling takes time to be useful.  If you go to the gym once and work out, you are not going to leave there with the same body you had at age 20.  To achieve the intended goal, set aside time to realize that goal to its full potential.  With journaling, a couple of times per week works fine for most people, although some do like to journal once a day. 

Secondly, do not get wrapped in a negative spiral.  Sometimes, people get the idea that journaling is writing down all of the rotten things that happened during the week.  Please do not do this.  Writing down all of the bad stuff is a sure-fire way to make things worse.  Have you ever ruminated on some bad situation for days, weeks, or even years afterwards?  If so, then you know how digging up the unpleasant memories can lead to self-doubt and regret. 

Journaling works as well as we are willing to dedicate time and energy into it.  Those who journal frequently and conscientiously have better results.  Try to spend a little time journaling and try not to get pulled into a negative spiral.  
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What about the Skeletons in the Closet? 
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Earlier, I mentioned not allowing oneself to be trapped in a negative spiral by writing about past events that were less-than-glamorous.  We all have them.  These skeletons in the closet are times when we did the wrong thing, made the poor choice, or embarrassed ourselves or others.  Everyone has them, even the most over-confident, self-absorbed of us has them. 
So, yes, writing about dark memories can lead to a negative spiral but there is no expectation or requirement that they do.  How is that? 
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Journal writers can turn negative memories on their heads by rewriting the past.  Writers can write what they know by addressing past failures but then rewrite them into new versions of themselves.  No one knows your negative memories better than you do; these are the stories you know inside and out.  You have repeated them over and over again.  You have told yourself you would improve and never make those same mistakes.  And you have suffered the consequences of these events.  Writing about these events is writing what you know. 

To journal around these kinds of events, first find a turning point in the story.  Write what actually happened in your journal up until that turning point.  Then when you get to the turning point, change the story.  Instead of writing about what actually happened (the version where things went badly), change the story at that moment and rewrite the rest so that the outcome is in your favor. 

So, that time that I said something stupid in front of my boss then failed to follow up with an explanation, I can rewrite that event.  I can write the event exactly as it really happened, then at the point when he said, “I’m surprised to hear you say that,” I change things.  Instead of me walking away from the conversation, I will explain what I meant.  Clearly he misunderstood and I did not take the opportunity to explain my viewpoint.  In my journal, I can make that correction.  And if I do that, maybe I will stop ruminating over that time I didn’t explain myself to my boss. 

Write what you know.  Fill up your journal pages with the words that tell your stories.  Use your journal as a space to collect your stories—childhood, parenthood, adulthood.  Keep track of what went well and what could have been improved.  Do not let yourself fall into the trap of the negative spiral that can be created by writing about past negative memories.  But do take those past memories and rewrite them; take control of them so that they become positive experiences.  

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